Green and Brown
by GothicGal8541
Summary: Written for the Kouchagumi's fanfic contest, posted as 'Allowing the tears to drop.' Genderbending, possible historical inaccuracy and rape implied here. Green and Brown were colours that clashed. Just like them.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Anything related to Hetalia has nothing to do with me, this is mere fanfiction. There's a bit of possible OOC-ness, rape, and gender bending because that is how I roll.**

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><p>I remembered it. The first moment I met him on the harbour. He was just too beautiful to be a man. Threads of the silk worm attached to his head, with the night sky borrowing it's colour. Eyes of the cinnamon spice with skin smooth like cream.<p>

"Welcome."

Even his voice sounded as if he was singing. Was it necessary I fell for a man like this? Call it unnatural if you may. I, myself am surprised he could speak such good English, I wonder who was his tutor?

He told us that we might not meet the emperor today, as we had arrived late. That's okay, I do not really mind. After all, what else does the Exotic East has in store for me? Plenty. All I can say.

Night time came, I couldn't sleep. Well, the moon was full and with a garden on the view of my chambers in the palace, how can I sleep with beauty all around me? Especially with him now smelling the flowers.

He then begins to walk into his chambers to retire for the night. I too, begin to follow him without realizing. He then closed the doors to his chambers, but an open window able me to peek inside.

I blushed. He was changing. Strange, what are those strips of cloth wrapped around the chest? He was breathing deeply. So it was only natural...He is a she. There was no question about my sexuality, only it was just human nature. 

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><p>I was outraged when negations didn't meet. I reported this to my boss, who supported an all out war. It was no big deal in defeating the Chinese, who I've successfully weakened with opium earlier on. Now Hong Kong is mines, but there's a little problem...<p>

Of course, How can I forget my little prisoner? Of course, I didn't want her to be tainted with dungeon filth, I made her stay in one of my rooms.

The moment I opened the door she begin top throw things at me. Somehow I managed to avoid it all. I held her wrists as tight as I could. It wasn't even later that she fell down to her knees, weakened in my grasp.

"What are you doing?"

I pinned her to a human cage on the floor, tearing out the clothes in her upper half body. The bindings are present. She can't hide it anymore, I know her secret. She looked at me with disbelief, trying to hide her chest as much as she could with her arms.

"So it's true."

"I had no choice."

She took her clothes that were scattered on the floor, hiding her chest once again. She is trying so hard not to look at me with tears in her eyes. We laid like that for ages until she couldn't cry anymore. Why the look on your face?

"Judging by your face who has seen so much, you are a personification of England, am I not right?"

"And you must represent China."

"They wouldn't accept a woman, England-ahen. They would be humiliated to find out if the personification of China is a woman. "

Well, one thing I couldn't deny, in a world of nations, only the men were taken seriously, never the women. What choice do they have in a male dominated society?

"I see. But there is a tiny problem though, China."

"What more problems are there? Haven't you give me a lot?"

Now I couldn't look at her. Yes, I was angry, with my blood boiling. I'm used to getting the things I wanted. Even her, who wrapped me up completely in her spell. Maybe I'm sick and sadistic for her, just that I didn't realize it.

"Well yes, I have...unless you want to create another one for me."

She slowly crawled to the bed, her eyes never leaving me.

"What is it that you want then?"

I smiled.

"Well, I've invaded Hong Kong, but it's sad to know that there's no personification to say that Hong Kong is mines."

"You can't create a personification...unless..."

Her voice trailed off. Now she knows. Don't worry China, I'll keep your little secret, unless you disobey me...

"So what will it be? You represent Hong Kong and follow me back to England? Or just spend a year bearing a child?"

She has no choice. She is the whole of China, not the tiny harbour. Of course, it will be of great delight to take it whole. I approached her closer, my hands trailing up her legs, with my voice allowing a tiny whisper to escape.

"So what will it be then?"

Her pride has been long shattered with smoke from India, polluting her people as it goes. There was nothing she has left. She's a doll now, my little puppet. My hungry hands soon ran all over her smooth creamy thighs, and my lips went towards her neck. She isn't resisting. Prefect.

Oh China? Scared now that I'm now tugging the knot that hold your bindings in place? They now lay on the floor, and you now are being pushed down into the bed. I've gotten rid of the rest of your clothes to gaze at your own body. After all of those years of hiding, I feel like as if you don't even need to hide it, that body is just so...beautiful. You can make any man fall on your knees.

Did it hurt? My, you are a virgin. All right, I'll play nice with you. Oh, you give me such pleasure as you twist and turn around the bed, in turmoil. Every inch of your skin puts me in a high as I place my lips, letting them trail on it. Don't struggle nor cry, you're making this hard on yourself than you think. Feeling your velvet tightness just only made me come faster, harder. Now look, you made a mess, leaving crimson on this white sheet. Seeing you trying so hard to cover yourself, I let my hands trail over your smooth back. You are now mine.

She had to stay, bearing with me every night. Do you know that I love it when there was fear in her eyes, the way she desperately hides in the corner and keeping her clothes in tact? Seeing her traumatized allowed my inner demon to come out, enjoying the harm it was giving to a fallen angel. Perfect.

And so, finally the words I need to hear came after 3 weeks.

"She's pregnant."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Anything related to Hetalia has nothing to do with me, this is mere fanfiction. There's a bit of possible OOC-ness, rape, and gender bending because that is how I roll.**

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><p>I entered the room the moment after I heard the news. She didn't respond. "Yao." She turned her head away from me. I stood still. "Aren't you happy now?" she gazed emptily into the window. I approached, wanting to touch her shoulder but she shrugged it off. "Haven't you violated me enough?" Her head faced mines. "Tell me." I could see she almost wanted to cry.<p>

"I...I'm sorry." And just like that, I walked away. I couldn't face her. I used her. What was I thinking? Am I too consumed to making her mines? I didn't want anyone to be courting her, my rage would just went up in a matter of seconds and I would waste no time in taking a razor blade to slit the man's throat. I could see myself walking back into my chambers, leaning against the wall. My body weight gave in to gravity while I buried my face in my hands.

_"Look what it has done to you."_ I looked up. "Please, I don't need your advice."_ "Oh? You know you are uncontrollable with rage. What really consumed you to harm her? Possessiveness...or lust?"_ "JUST SHUT UP WILL YOU?" I stood up, yelling to empty space. I was talking to myself...again. 

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><p>Half a year went by so fast. All I remembered was being confined to a prison, a prison of luxury. I get what I wanted, but I could never, ever step out of this place. But...it's not like I want to. I had to. My pride was on the line. And so was my secret.<p>

I stared out into the window, looking at my people's way of life. It was sickening to see the men outside begging, with their bones showing. How desperate are they for the next fix? Ignoring their duties, as a provider, a guardian. They slowly slip into a deep, deep pit, unable to get out. And I can't do anything. He weakened me, used me, forced me to what has become of my people and myself. Do you know how much does it hurt to see them suffer, yet you know it is hopeless?

"What good does it make?" My hand went down to my slightly swollen belly, invisible due to the baggy nightgown. I have this feeling it was going to be a boy. I looked down. "I'm sorry, little one. Mama isn't going to be there when you grow up." A sigh escaped while I hummed a little lullaby to calm myself down.

_**The moon is bright, the wind is quiet,  
>The tree leaves hang over the window,<br>My little baby, go to sleep quickly,  
>Sleep, dreaming sweet dreams.<strong>_

_**The moon is bright, the wind is quiet,  
>The cradle moving softly,<br>My little one, close your eyes,  
>Sleep, sleep, dreaming sweet dreams.<strong>_

"A lovely voice." I turned back, staring coldly at him. "What now Opium?" "N-nothing. Can't I comment on your singing?" I stood silent. I just continued to look away, I don't want to be facing those eyes. Those evil green eyes. Why would it torment me in my sleep?

"Yao... please, you shouldn't be standing so much." "I don't see anything wrong with it, Opium." But for some reason I just did what I was told, lying on his armchair. "There, you don't have to worry now." I shook my head in annoyance.

What I didn't expect was to have him press his ear on my stomach. "What the hell, opium?" I backed away, while searching his face for an answer. "Could I not feel the child kick? Am I not it's father?" I breath deep. "Fine. Go ahead, but don't you dare place your hands on me."

He smiled or smirked, I can't tell. I saw him close his eyes as I felt it kick, as if responding to it's father. He was relaxed, calm. I...never saw him this way. Maybe I was so used to seeing him so stressed. Or it could be something else. "T-thank you." he walked away, with a glimmer of guilt in his eyes. What do you mean, Opium?

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><p>Waiting was the most painful thing I had to bear. It was night time when Yao's water had broken. I woke up to hear her screams, and when I opened my bedroom door, a maid quickly informed me about the current situation.<p>

I remember that I was so restless, pacing about the living room. The minutes ticked by for what seem like hours. I tried to sleep on the sofa, but I feel so awake, even with the constant yawning. Maybe it's because a lot of things were going through my head. Guilt? Regret? The right answer never came.

"S-sir..." I raise my head up, seeing a midwife. "H-how is...?" "Sir, a boy is born tonight. It will survive, but I fear for it's mother. She has weakened after the childbirth, due to loss of blood."

Suddenly, the world came to a standstill. Yao...oh God I need to see her. I ran upstairs, to see her sleeping, sweat . The maids excused themselves as they walked toward the door, closing it shut. I stood next to the bed, seeing her lips and cheeks a deathly pale, the healthy pink has evaporated. Don't cry, you fool who has done this to her. But they were coming, and I can't stop it.

"Sir? Would you like to see your son?" I saw the midwife, a bundle clutched tightly to her chest. I took the bundle away from her, bring it nearer to a light source. Oh my... this child, Hong Kong, bears so much resemblance to it's mother. The almond dark eyes, the silky black hair, and the smooth sun-kissed skin. And it looked at me, with innocence that couldn't bear the ugly truth of it's birth. I gave it a name on the spot, I don't know why though.

"I'm sorry, Aaron." 

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><p>I peeked into Yao's bedroom when I heard that she had woken up. I was happy she made it, but at the same time, I was sacred to approach her.<p>

She was in a white nightgown, her hair that was always tied up in a pony tail now hug all over her shoulders. She was in the bed, nuzzling her nose with Aaron's. Her smile, and the sunlight all around her and Aaron, almost made me believe she was an angel. I mean...the colour white surrounded them, both were happy and the sunlight serves as a halo. It was like seeing the Virgin Mary with Baby Jesus.

I dare not go any closer. But my feet kept moving. The smile became a frown. The beautiful scene disappeared. I curse at myself for destroying the scene.

"What now Opium?" "N-nothing. Just wanted to say that you can leave anytime, you have done your part." "What if I don't want to?" "What do you mean?" "There is still a remaining of three more months, is there not? You said I'll spend a year bearing a child, when it only took nine months. Please, as a mother, let me raise Shuang for the time being."

She never asked anything from me. I was more than happy to grant her wish, as long as she smiles. "D-deal. Although, what does Shuang mean?" "Bright, clear. Just like his eyes. I assume you gave him an English name?" "Aaron." "Fair enough. He'll be known as Aaron Kirkland in your lands while he will be known as Wang Li Shuang in mines."

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><p>I had to leave now, the three months were up. At least Shuang wasn't crying, if he was, I'd root to the ground until he was smiling again.<p>

"Farewell, Shuang. Mama will come back, just not now." I kissed the tip of Shuang's forehead, before giving it back to Arthur. "Please take care of him, when I could not." "I will, Yao. Don't worry." Silence greeted the both of us. "Yao..I..." "There's no need for a goodbye, opium." "No not that..." "Please, it's best I leave now." And I continue walking, until I reached a hilltop, with a great view of the ocean. A ship with the Union Jack was on the water, sailing away. I waved goodbye, with a tear rolling down.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Anything related to Hetalia has nothing to do with me, this is mere fanfiction. There's a bit of possible OOC-ness, rape, and gender bending because that is how I roll.**

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><p><em><strong>25 March 1953<strong>_

I remember that day. I was looking for some reference in Father's study, but I saw him, painting. "Hello Father." "Hello Aaron." I browse though the many books he had, and I selected a few. Then I saw the painting.

A woman, obviously Asian, with a baby in her arms as she was wearing white, lying on a bed. Both her and the baby were happy, but it was from a far distance. "Father, who are those two?" "You." "What? Are you kidding me?" "I'm not. That baby is you." I looked closely. "So...that is...my mother?" Father nodded. I guess that was were I got most of my features from. What else could explain my black hair and almond shaped brown eyes?

"Why is it so far?" Father could only bit his lip. "Aaron, there's something I need to tell you." I sat, my face written with confusion. Till Father told me what I wished I never heard.

I was a child of rape. My father was my mother's rapist. He needed me to represent Hong Kong. "Why?" Father could only shook his head. "Aaron, I...don't know. I was obsessed, no, that's not the correct word. Greedy. I was used to getting things my way, but your mother fought. She disguised herself as a man, so I used her secret. She wouldn't come with me as Hong Kong. So she made a decision and she gave you life. But she did love you. She even ask me to stay longer to take care of you. As the days passed, my feeling for her changed. What used to be feeling of lust and manipulation, turned to guilt and love. I won't deny it, Aaron, I love your mother, and when I held you in my arms the moment you were born I never viewed you as a colony, but as my son."

I could only stay silent. Father took my silence as anger and said more. "That scene, which I painted, there was a reason why it was so far. When I approached her, that smile becomes a frown, and I completely ruined it. There was no one to blame but myself. I owe you an apology, as much as I did with your mother."

I shook my head. "Father, you have raised me up. You wouldn't have cared, but you did. At least I know now, mother didn't gave me up out of her will. Father, you are still my father." 

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><p><em><strong><br>October 25 1971**_

She's coming. Today was the day the People's Republic of China will replace Taiwan. I looked around the hall while waiting anxiously. "You seem nervous mon ami." "No I'm not." I bit my lip after Francis said that. I... it's just that I haven't seen her for so long. All of those fights with Japan and the Cultural Revolution, made me wonder. Is she in the best of health? Or is she stick thin from the weary and hard years? Everyone have gathered. It was slightly chaotic, but that's the meetings in the UN was like.

The main door opened. I raised my head the moment I heard the creaking. There you stand, revealing your actual gender at last. Everyone could only stare, as you made your way towards your seat. I'm, at least for this moment, the only one that knows it's really you, and not a temporary replacement. You took your seat, saying that you are sorry for your sense of punctuality. Still so flawless, like when I first met you.

"Miss, are you a temporary..." "Alfred. F. Jones, I'm not." Gasps echoed towards the hall. Only among us nations did we know our human names. "Without further due, shall we continue?" Your voice, strong yet soft like a silk thread, flooded the hall as you took your seat. I saw Ivan eyeing you, like a man interested in a woman would. I, however, was looking at something else. It was your dress. A cheongsam. But you weren't wearing red like you used to, you were wearing something else. It was the colour of bamboo, grass and leaves. You were wearing green. 

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><p><em><strong>1 July 1997<strong>_

After so long, I was able to see Shuang for the first time in a hundred years. I remembered fidgeting my fingers as I waited. How would he look like? The only memory I had with him was when he was a baby. I bit my lip. Best to calm down, I don't want to look like a nervous wreck.

Then...I thought of his father. I could never forgive him for using me entirely, but then I see that he had regretted his actions. How many times had he tried to apologized? I lost count. Had he lost his former glory and is trying to make up for it, or his couldn't take it anymore?

I look to see the flight schedule. London, arrived, Gate 8. Took me a while to find it, where I stood there, biting my lip and fidgeting with my fingers while looking trough the crowd. How would Shuang look like? Is his father with him? My mind was pondering with anxiousness. But it wasn't long till I saw him, with his father. 

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><p>I was a nervous wreck. Father even had told me to calm down, but I simply just couldn't. How did Mother look like? Was she as beautiful as Father had depicted? We landed, for the first time in a hundred years, I was back in Chinese soil. "Don't be nervous, Aaron. I guarantee you everything." Father held my hand in an assuring gesture, and I felt better.<p>

I took my suitcase, biting my lip. Then across the many people, there she stood. I just somehow can tell. She was smiling, approaching Father and I. She was exactly what Father painted her, he did her justice to not only her looks, but her aura.

"M-mama?" Dang it, my voice was trembling. " Li Shuang...you've grown so big." Like Father said, only Mama knew my Chinese name. I hugged her back, for I never knew a mother's loving embrace. I could feel the sobs on her. And me as well.

She brushed away the tears, On hers and mines. "Oh my...I could still remember when I held you in my arms. Now you are taller than me." She tried to mask her sadness and pain, for those times she could have been around. I didn't blame her, nor did I blame Father. "Mama, it was been a while." What else could I say?

"Aaron?" I turned to see Father making gestures to say he wanted to talk to mother in private. "Excuse me, I need the toilet." "All right." Hopefully, maybe my parents could work something out. 

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><p>"You haven't changed." "I'm a nation, what is there to change?" I bit my lip. I still regretted what I had done to her, and not even saying a proper apology. After all of that, only did I realised my actions.<p>

"Yao, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the rape. And I'm sorry to force to you into something that you did against your will." Yao looked back. "Are you now apologizing after a century, opium?" "I never had the guts. I'm going to admit that." There, Yao. I swallowed my pride. That took a lot.

There was silence. "Yao, can I admit something?" "What is it then?" "When you were in captivity, I ended up feeling for something when I should have not." "And what are those feelings? Regret?" "No. Love. For you." Before your face frowned I continued to say what I should have said. "I know that I can never have a relationship with you, all I just want is for you to know my feelings." I approached her closer. "M-may I?" You nodded with hesitance. I lightly pressed my lips with yours, but my tongue got cheeky and was soon licking your teeth for permission. "Will you respond?" "You know very well I can't." I masked my sadness with a smile. "I understand."

"Father?" I turned back to see Aaron. "Yes?" "I...wish to say something." "Go on." "I knew that there is no way both of you could be together, but all I ask is that you will be there when I need you." Yao nodded in agreement, while saying, "If that is what you wanted, I'll grant it for you." "And so will I." I responded back. Aaron gave me a hug, for I have to leave for England soon. "Write to me, Father." "I will." I broke it away, waving goodbye.

_Maybe I might have a chance. Maybe she'll forgive me. Who knows?_

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><p><em>And maybe with time passing by, I will learn to forgive him, just not now. And maybe gave him a chance to prove himself. But I just do not know when.<em>


End file.
